So it is that part of pregnancy that I hate. Yesterday, I got swollen feet for the first time during this pregnancy. I don’t exactly remember when I started getting swollen feet and ankles with pnut but I know that I did have it and it was very uncomfortable. Speaking of uncomfortable, that is how I feel all the time now. I am so sick of being round. Sick of not being able to bend over or do certain things because I’m either too fat or pregnant. Its really annoying. I’ve been in a terrible funk the past couple of days. If I do, do anything I usually feel the result come mid-afternoon or early evening. There isn’t much I can do anymore. Housework takes alot out of me and I want to get caught up on all the housework that was neglected while I had the stomach flu but after an hour or so I just feel I can’t do anymore. Its like a feeling of helplessness.

Body issues. Don’t get me started. I hate the way I look and feel right now. With swollen feet I shouldn’t stand at all so I’ve resorted to making my desk out of the couch in the living room. I have pillows piled on the coffee table so that my feet are at least elevated. Even though I have my office in here I don’t feel like working much less blogging so I’m just sorta surfing around right now. I really need to start making money again but if you aren’t feeling it, you just aren’t feeling it. If I’m not mushing out on the couch I’m at least trying to get something accomplished in the house and even now that is getting near impossible with my expanding belly. With an expanding belly comes problems such as limited mobility and braxton hicks contractions. If I over do it at all I get extreme BH contractions which make me stop what I’m doing completely until they are over. How much time do I have till I pop this baby out? Ah yes, 61 days. Grief that is a long time. I don’t think I’ll make it.

Anxiety. I’m going through another spell of being depressed. Aside from being down about my weight, body image, and swollen feet, I’m also feeling scared and anxious about the baby actually being here. I’m asking myself the same questions I had at the beginning of the pregnancy when I first found out. I just can’t imagine loving another baby as much as I love the pnut. I hope the pnut isn’t mad at me. My mother and I have been buying up every yellow and green baby item out there but as the baby’s room fills with stuff I can’t help but ask myself all the questions a mother would ask herself when she has another baby. I’m scared I’m not going to be able to handle it all. The house, two kids, a husband, and some how try to have a life as well. I know I’ll find a way to do it all but one can’t help but be a little scared or concerned about the path ahead.