35 weeks…35 WEEKS! Ahhh, that means that I’ve got only 5 weeks left to prepare for the bean to come home. I’ve really gotten nesty over the last week or so. I’ve washed and sorted all of the the baby clothes that we have bought over the months as well as started to put the baby’s room together. I have 5 million bottles left to wash and a middle name to pick out. At the beginning of the pregnancy I didn’t think this day would ever come. This has been what seems to be the longest pregnancy ever. But now that I have the clock ticking down and just 5 weeks left to go, I feel rushed and anxious. We pretty much have everything bought that we need to buy with the exception of diapers and formula, but those can wait till the last couple of weeks. I doubt I’ll be having a baby shower this time because with my first child no one showed up when I threw one so I’m basically not going to bother with baby #2. I just don’t feel like going through that again.

Back pain, oh the back pain is unbareable. I’ve never had such bad back pain before in my life. If I lay flat on the floor it is just absolutely excrutiating. You can see in the above photo that my tummy really does stick straight out. I’m sure that that whopping baby of mine has something to do with messing up my sciatic nerve. I just hope that it goes away after the baby is born. I can barely walk at times the pain gets so intense.

Can I really get any bigger? As I look at my stomach I just can’t imagine getting any bigger. But as I look back on past photos in my pregnancy you can really see the belly grown, especially in the last month or so. WOW! I know I’m stretching out further than I did with pnut because I now have some new stretch marks to add to the roadmap that was formerly known as my stomach. I keep telling myself, just 5 more weeks….5 MORE WEEKS!!!

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Well there is one of three things going on with my tummy now. I am either getting new stretch marks *crosses fingers and prays this isn’t true*, have really dry skin due to having to turn the heat back on the last couple of days due to 30 degree temperatures, or I’m beginning to get the “pregnancy rash” that I had during the last week of my pregnancy with pnut. I have a feeling it is a combination of new stretch marks and the heat. It sucks but I’m doomed to have a road map for a stomach for the rest of my life. The “pregnancy rash” usually doesn’t happen until the last week of pregnancy and goes away after you give birth and since I’m 7 weeks or so away that is obviously not the case. I have some red spots on my stomach but I can’t determine if they are fresh stretch marks or irritation from scratching so much. Lotion doesn’t help at all. Nothing helps. I know I shouldn’t scratch but that is like trying not to sneeze, it is just bound to happen.

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I’m not having a baby! I know this may come as a surprise as I have this ever expanding waistband but I’m not having a baby. I mean, I don’t feel like I’m having a baby. Well I do “feel” the affects of growing a baby inside of my tiny body but when I think that there will be a newborn in this house, another little one to take care, in a couple months it just blows my mind. I read all the mommy blogs of women that are becoming mothers for the second time, I see all the newborn babies when I’m out shopping, I even see the room in our house dedicated to the baby fill up with baby crap on a regular basis but I just don’t have that “feeling”. I don’t know what the “feeling” is supposed to entale but I’m sure it has something to do with the realization that I AM IN FACT GOING TO HAVE A BABY! Another little one. Parent of two not one. It just doesn’t seem real.

Reality hasn’t hit me that in just a couple short months I’ll be changing poopy diapers on the regular, battling diaper rash, bottle feeding and cleanings every couple of hours, crying, burping, cooing, milestones, and baby smells will fill this house. I will have to share my precious time with the pnut with another little one. How am I to love another human being as much as I love the pnut? Is it even possible? Will I favor one child more than the other? Will I get short with pnut for not understanding that mommy has another baby to take care of as well?

All these thoughts keep running through my head as I try to imagine my life in a couple of months. I know life is going to change, but how much? Am I selfish to not want life to change? Is it wrong for me to not want to “have” to love another child as much as pnut? Am I the only mother that thinks this way or is this just a pregnancy moment that will soon fade?

I’m emotional this morning if you can’t tell. I had the worst sleep last night so that is why I’m up blogging and crying. I’m going to go take a shower before pnut wakes up for the day, hopefully get my act together. He hates to see me cry. “Wutz wong, mummy?” he would say if he could see me now. “oooohhhh, Saaad?”

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I’ve hit the 33 week mark and feel even more uncomfortable as each day passes. I’ve definately started poking out more [if you look at my 31 wks. pic and my 33 wks. pic you can definately tell the difference]. I’m now rocking a fat face complete with double chin. Things are swelling and expanding. I feel like a blimp. My preggers clothes are even getting to be too small. I’ve resulted to wearing hubby’s shirts and whatever sleep bottoms I can find that will accomidate the belly and the booty. Baby bean has now taken up kicking me in the ribs. Not fun.

I had my first encounter with a belly rubber the other morning whilst eating breakfast at a local restuarant. I was leaving the restuarant and the woman stopped me and started feeling me up. Now I’ve gone 33 weeks without no one rubbing the belly as if I were buddah. I thought I did pretty good. I hope that is my one and only encounter. I despise belly rubbers.

Recent comments on the belly have been:
“Wow, you look like you got a basketball in your shirt!”
“You are having a girl?” Uh, no.
“When are you due?” Next month “Wow, you look like you are going to pop!”
“Any minute now, huh?”

I’m just going to start wearing a sign on my forehead that gives the stats of my pregnancy. I think it would read something like this…

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So I think I’m going to have to stop drinking orange juice all together for the rest of this pregnancy. Why? Well the last 3 times I drank OJ, including last night, it has given me the worst case of heartburn ever! Sheesh. I thought the first couple of times it was because I was sick with the stomach bug. I felt perfectly fine last night when I had a glass and was feeling it for the rest of the night. I was so miserable. It is very hard to sleep with heartburn. So from now until I pop a baby out, no more orange juice.

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Today, I have had the biggest appetite. I just can’t seem to get full. I’ve eaten so much crap today it is rediculous. I’m just soooo hungry. I feel the affects of the day today as I type this post.

On another note the doctor called and said that I have a low iron count so they are putting me on iron supplements. Fun, fun. They called in my prescription and hubby picked it up for me. These things are green….so weird. I must confess that I haven’t been taking my prenatal vitamins religiously like I should have been. But I’m getting better at remembering. It is just so hard to remember to take all these pills and at what times.

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So when we went to pick up the step-kids for the weekend, we also went over to my parents house for supper. We grilled hamburgers and hotdogs. It was lots of fun. Of course after dinner there was desert…ICE CREAM! Who doesn’t love ice cream, pregnant or not. Especially when it is cookies and cream. Yum, yum. I didn’t realize I was sitting the bowl on my stomach like my stomach was the table until hubby started snapping these pictures of me. LOL. Just thought I’d share.

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So I’m officially 32 weeks preggo! Just 8 more weeks to go. Thank goodness. My body is so tired of being distorted…hee hee.

I had to go to the doctor Friday to take my sugar test that I should have taken at 28 weeks pregnant. Oh well, life happens, moving happens, and I just couldn’t get it done then. I personally hate the sugar test. It is such a pain.

First, They make you drink this awful “sweet juice”,

Then, sit around the office twiddling your thumbs for an hour,

and then they take your blood. Not fun if you ask me. The sweet juice wants to make you gag, the waiting is just a pain in itself, and don’t get me started on how much I despise needles. I suppose all went well. I didn’t hear of anything otherwise.

I have another doctors appointment in 2 weeks. I’ll be 34 weeks preggo. Getting closer!

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I managed to capture a picture of pnut kissing “baby tummy” as he would call it. Every once in a while he will pull up my shirt and whack my tummy and say “baby tummy mommy”. Then he will pull up his shirt and say “baby tummy”. LOL. He thinks he has a baby in his tummy too!

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That is what I weighed when I went to the doctor Tuesday. Are you serious? I weigh 173 lbs!!! Good grief. I haven’t been to the doctor since January after my appendectomy and so to see my weight go from 153 lbs to 173 lbs is a bit of a shock, to say the least. I mean that is 20 lbs gained in like 2 months. Is that even normal? I swear I pack on the lbs. when I’m preggers like nobody’s business. I don’t even eat excessively. I eat exactly the way I do when I’m not pregnant but when I am pregnant I seem to gain all of this weight. Seriously, what is the deal? I am so glad I’m getting “fixed” after having this baby. I don’t want to have to do this again. EVER! I’m not one of those crazy people that likes being pregnant. I hate it. Despise it even. I am just so uncomfortable and absolutely hate the way that I look while pregnant. It is cute for others but just isn’t my cup of tea.

Also, I’ve been having these terrible mood swings lately. Hubby says he doesn’t want to be around me they are that bad. I don’t mean what I say and I hate this feeling of just being mad all the time. I don’t know if it is a combination of the pregnancy hormones, stress of life, being utterly miserable in my own skin or the fact that we are having another boy that is the reason why I’m so out of sorts with my true self lately but I’m sure some of those factors come into play at some point or another. I’m just really not feeling like myself. I cry at the drop of a hat and can’t seem to find anything to make myself happy. I’m just sick of being pregnant, that is all. I hope hubby and the pnut understand that I dont mean the harsh words that I say that is mere pregnancy hormones talking. What worries me so much about when I get into these spells [and that is what they are a spell, it is like I can’t get out of it, I’m in a evil trance] is that I might end up having post-partum depression after the baby is born.

Ok, enough rambling. I’m going to try to take a shower to perk my spirits up.

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