This morning the car didn’t want to start. Hubby is mad/upset/stressed because we don’t have the money to fix it and he had to call one of his employee’s to come and pick him up and take him to work. We don’t know if we need a new battery, alternator, or if the starter is messed up. All we know is that we have a car, practically dead in our garage. I can understand why hubby is so stressed/upset about the whole situation. He is the “breadwinner” of the family so he has alot of responsibilites riding on his shoulders.

I just moved out here almost 2 months ago to be with him and to start our new life together. Moving costs alot of money. So we are just spent. We have no money saved up because it all went towards the cost of the move. I took on a “nanny” job two weeks ago, and frankly don’t make a whole lot on a weekly basis. My plan was to take on the job and take all the money that I make and save it for times like this. In life these things just happen. It is good to have “spare money” around so you can get the car towed and get it fixed.

I just didn’t have enough time. I haven’t had enough time to save enough money for a situation such as this. My goal was to have $1,000 saved up for “emergencies”. But in this short amount of actual “working” time I have about $100. We all know that is not going to fix a car.

So yet again, I have to call my folks with my tail between my legs and beg ask for some money. How humiliating is it to ask someone for money? You are already in the dumps because you can’t provide financially and then you have to call you parents to bail you out. I’m an adult, afterall, a married one at that. I shouldn’t have to call mommy and daddy to bail me out of a situation.

I just wish I had more time. More time to save up what little money I earn so that I won’t have to call someone to bail us out of a situation.

I just want to get ahead for once. As soon as we get “on our feet” the next week life throws another curve ball at us and we are back on our butts in the mud.

I know life is full of situations like this. Afterall, life wouldn’t be called life if it was all easy living. I know there are going to be hard times. I just wish I was a little more prepared to handle them.

I can tell just by the look on hubby’s face that he is really worried…scared even. He doesn’t want to let us down. I understand that….I really do. But it is times like this that we need each other most. We gotta stick together to get through it. Life is tough and my husband and son are all I got.

When hubby is stressed he pulls away. He doesn’t like to face situations head on. I on the other hand try to figure it out….try to find the solution. Today after coming in from an unsuccessful attempt at starting the car he told me that he wants me to “go back home”. He said that it is going to get ugly and that he wants to deal with it by himself. Now I know good and darn well that shipping your wife and son off isn’t the answer to the problem. We are a family, families stick together. Like I said before he doesn’t want us to see him fail but no one is perfect. Stuff happens beyond our control. Whether I am here or there it isn’t going to make the situation any better or worse. I want to be here to support my husband and help in any way that I can. He just doesn’t see it. He shuts down completely when anything goes wrong. That is one of his characteristics that I despise. Don’t get me wrong, I love my hubby to death and would never want to be with anyone else. It just angers me to see him shut down like this. I just don’t know what to do half the time. It makes me sad and depressed to see him like this. I feel so helpless.

ShareThis