IMG_2038I thought that I could handle it. I thought that I would be cool, calm, and collected. I thought that I could go on a nice five day trip without looking back. Leaving the boys with my husband wasn’t easy. Being on the opposite end of the United States makes things worse. Having that sinking feeling in your gut when you get off the plane, that brings tears to your eyes.

After landing, I talked with my husband and I couldn’t help but start crying. Hearing stories of pnut running around the house saying “I can’t find her” breaks my heart. My pnut is looking for me and I’m not there. *heart breaks into a million tiny pieces* I miss my squishy baby and his sweet kisses. I’m sure I sound like the worst sap right now and even possibly the biggest wuss, but this is my first time without my children and I am a million miles away from them, I have the right to freak out and cry a little….right? Please tell me it is OK to cry. Besides, I have to get it out now before I make an even worse idiot of myself tomorrow.

I tried to play the cool card, I really did. I was strong in front of my husband but really I am falling apart.

Well, I’m being a girly mess right now missing my children so I am going to go to bed and sleep it off. Wish me luck as I have a HUGE day planned tomorrow. Also, visit my flickr album for photos that I have taken so far.

BTW, I am in California!!!