Last night I had a dream that involved my grandmother. It was kind of weird in the fact that I never saw her face but knew it was her. The dream started out with me “coming home” from some place that I had been for a very long time [sort of like I was coming home from America’s Heartland after being gone nearly a year]. I had been waiting around my parents home. I knew my grandmother was going to stop by because she was supposed to go off with Uncle Jimmy. Then she finally showed up, but all I did was look down. I gave her a hug but never looked her in the face. I remember seeing her fingernails. Grandma always had her nails done. She asked for her mail. I gave her two pieces that the mail man dropped off and one letter that I had forgotten that I wrote to her. She went into the bathroom and read them. All I heard were tears from the door. She read my letter and it made her weep. Not in a bad way…it was a good letter from the heart, I knew that much.
Uncle Jimmy shows up and begins to load Granny’s things in the car. There was a sense of “Granny’s old, Granny doesn’t look the same, Granny is going to Die soon” kind of vibe to the air. It was like the pink elephant of the room you knew it was there but you didn’t dare speak of it. Uncle Jimmy said to me “You know you are getting old when you don’t know anyone on your block anymore. I used to know all the kids that played up and down this street. Now I only know a couple.” He walked out the door and got in his Jeep. Granny soon followed, the whole time I couldn’t look at her face. I knew that the letter I wrote her made her cry and to avoid crying myself I didn’t look up. She told me “Thank you, Heather. That was really sweet.” Like she would say anytime I felt compelled to write her a thank you letter. I remember as she walked to the car looking at the back of her hair. It WAS her hair but there was something different about it. I saw a red spot underneath her hair like she was laying on something. I thought to myself “Granny IS getting old, Granny isn’t the same anymore.”
My husband then woke me up and I wasn’t ready to leave this dream just yet.